Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The Bushisms Quiz: 15 Questions to Test Your Bushspeak IQ.

1 - Q: Complete the following Bush quote. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their ___ with women all across this country."

a-religion
b-guitars
c-love
d-pick-up lines
e-witchcraft


2 - Q: President Bush made four of the following statements. Which one was made by Dan Quayle?

a-"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."
b-"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."
c-"More and more of our imports come from overseas."
d-"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
e-"Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?"


3 - Q: Complete the following Bush quote. "I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the ___."

a-joy of freedom
b-joy of sex
c-joy of cooking
d-joy of world domination
e-joy of Hannukah


4 - Q: Complete the following Bush quote. "I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ___ and ____ will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport."

a-ticket counters and airplanes
b-seat backs and tray tables
c-pigs and monkeys
d-groped and shoeless passengers


5 - Q: Complete the following Bush quote. "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, '___.'"

a-"I think, therefore I is."
b-"People who live in glass stones shouldn't throw houses."
c-"Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
d-"A bird in the hand is worth two in the — uh, two in the — uh…"


6 - Q: True or false: When asked in the 2000 presidential debates to sum up the reason for his candidacy, Bush said, "Strategery."

a-True
b-False


7 - Q: Four of the following statements were made by President George W. Bush. Which statement was made by President George H. W. Bush in 1990?

a-"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here."
b-"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right."
c-"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things."
d-"I just am not one who – who flamboyantly believes in throwing a lot of words around."
e-"I'm the master of low expectations."


8 - Q: Complete the following Bush quote. "I know the ___ and ____ can coexist peacefully."

a-Israelians and Palestinicians
b-Christians and Islamiacs
c-donkey and elephant
d-human being and fish



9 - Q: True or false: When asked by a child in Britain to describe the White House, Bush replied, "It is white."

a-True
b-False



10 - Q: President Bush made three of the following statements. Which one was made by Dan Quayle?

a-"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."
b-"People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you."
c-"I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace."
d-"How many Palestinians were on those airplanes on Sept. 9? None."



11 - Q: Complete the following Bush quote. "I want to thank the astronauts who are with us, the courageous ____ who set such a wonderful example for the young of our country."

a-spacial entrepreneurs
b-spacious exploranators
c-space rangers
d-intergalactic colonizers
e-moon dudes



12 - Q: True or false: Speaking at a right-to-life rally, President Bush said, "We must always remember that all human beings begin life as a feces. A feces is a living being in the eyes of God, who has endowed that feces with all of the rights and God-given blessings of any other human being."

a-True
b-False



13 - Q: Complete the following Bush quote. "The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to ____ himself."

a-torture
b-terrorize
c-taunt
d-trick
e-touch



14 - Q: Complete the following Bush quote. "You teach a child to read, and ___ will be able to pass a literacy test."

a-him or he
b-he or her
c-she or it
d-we



15 - Q: Complete the following Bush quote. "A ___ would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it."

a-constitutional monarchy
b-theocracy
c-fascist police state
d-dictatorship
e-global empire




-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ANSWERS: 1) c; 2) d; 3) e; 4) a; 5) c; 6) false; 7) d; 8) d; 9) true; 10) d; 11) a; 12) false; 13) b; 14) b; 15) d



If you answered (0 – 2) items out of 15 correctly.

Your knowledge is sorely lacking. You might try taking the test again. As President Bush once said, "Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."


If you answered (3 – 5) items out of 15 correctly.

Your knowledge is highly underwhelming. As President Bush might have said, you ought to make the pie higher.


If you answered (6 – 8) items out of 15 correctly.

Your knowledge is underwhelming. As President Bush once said, "Expectations rise above that which is expected."


If you answered (9 – 11) items out of 15 correctly.

Your knowledge is slightly above average. As George W. Bush might have said, they misunderestimated you.


If you answered (12 – 15) items out of 15 correctly.

Excellent strategery. As President Bush might have said, it's people like you where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.



From Daniel Kurtzman (writer, editor, journalist and political satirist)

2 comments:

Penultimatina said...

Thank you for that! I knew more of them than I thought I would.

Nick said...

Same here, I was quite surprised how many bushisms I knew. No problemmo!